Friday, July 5, 2013

The journey to Peru, to our soles and back, nears it's final hours.

The last ceremony of our journey, holds Sean within it's sacred circle. I send him love and pray he can receive what he needs. I sit in bed, the chill of the cold dark night rolls up my spine and I feel as if Im in slow motion. My eyes panning the room, somber music on my lap top, taking in my surroundings in  gratefulness and sadness. This is one of my last nights in this magical place and my heart aches knowing I must leave it soon. Tears begin to swell in my eyes, and my chest sinks heavy with the weight of knowing I'm not ready to go. This home has been so good to us as it sheltered us in a space of freedom and peace. These walls bounced the laughter of my children off of them for months, keeping the joy within and the cold out. A familia surrounding us with one intention, to see us thrive, to co-create space where we all own our own medicine gifts and spread gratitude through the land of these great Andes mountains, the Apus, Pachamama, Inti, grandfather sky and all the great spiritual teachers of the world. A place where we all raise up our voices together singing medicine songs that invigorate the body and support a higher awareness, a conciseness for all that is and ever will be, and all its wild possibilities.  For a place so magical, you cant hep but to create, to manifest and to be inspired. A place so beautiful you feel as if each morning you awake and yet still feel your in a dream. A place where the inner child like parts of us are so honored that my children feel totally supported in every way to express themselves in this world. A place so safe and loving that my children run free in joy, with no fear and I with no fear as they explore, expand and learn. Within a language they don't yet understand they continue to communicate through, laughter, smiles and love. How can anything but where we are support us in this way? Show us our light and yet love us in our dark. How can we possibly begin to readjust to the life we lived before? The hustle and bustle, the incessant noise of advertisement and a culture so riddled with illusion.

But most of all not getting sucked back into what society thinks we should or should not be doing, getting sucked into a rhythm that doesn't serve us? I suppose this is the test. This is where we decide whether the things we've learned will take root or if they'll wither in the storm. This music in its peaceful  calming rhythm instantly gives my whole body the feeling of being in Lima on our first few days here. Its so incredible to be able to feel the sensations of those first few days so strong still within my body. The fear, the excitement  the solitude when Sean left to the jungle. Who I was then is nearly completely different now. I can still feel her, recall her and understand her, the girl I was when we arrived. Yet now a new part has taken hold, lifting that girl to peaks higher then she could imagine and revealing the deepest depths within, leaving her unavoidably stronger, more secure and with a heart healing so rapidly that love explodes from every cell in gratitude for this journey. I'm not perfected, just strengthened. I still have many faults that haunt my true nature and win the battle of ego trips time and again. However, when I find the balance in moments I would never have been able to before, then that is when I can truly see how far I've come. This journey may soon be ending here in Peru but it only allows for a new chapter to begin.  I serenader to this sadness.  This is a short time that I can allow myself to morn the ending of this beautiful segment in my life. By doing so I'm honoring all that Ive learned, honoring myself and the process of allowing all that is. I'm truly saddened to leave this nest we've built here yet I'm so grateful to have this sadness so deep, showing me so concretely that we did the right thing in taking that first leap of faith in leaving all we knew behind and coming here at all, steping into the unknow and trustingt the universe would support us. Not only has she supported us but, taught us, healed us, and reached us in a multitude of ways. Whether it be through the elements, through nature, the cosmos, the animals, people, family and new friends, we've been divinely provided for every step of the way. Thank you all that is, has been and ever will be, impacting us on this adventure of life. Untel more bubbles to the surface begging to be expressed...I continue to serenader.